Not Me!

There is a stranger living in my house.  His name is Not Me.  (Yes, I know its a he because the other day he peed all over the bath tub and no female could have aimed with such precision.)  He is a very devious fellow.  Here is how I found out about his existence.
Me: "Kids who spilled cereal all over the floor?"
Kids: "Not Me!"
Me:  "Kids who dumped the box of toys in the hallway?"
Kids: "Not Me!"
Me: "Kids who threw mud on my windows?"
Kids: "Not Me!"
Me: "Kids who spilled milk all over the table?"
Kids: "Not Me!"

I could continue this dialogue but I think you get the picture.  Not Me is causing all sorts of chaos in my home.  If only I could catch him and send him away.